3. How can I talk about incontinence?
Key points
“When it’s happening you have to support them by saying: ‘Don’t worry, it can happen to anyone’. That way it will make them feel better. Be calm when you talk to them, tell them they are not alone, many people have the same problem. That way they will start to understand, even if it’s hard, that they are not the only person suffering from that particular problem”.
“The language you use is important. You don’t use baby talk. There is a stigma attached to being incontinent. I’ve got one lady that laughs and calls them her pee pants. And I’ve got another lady who calls it her underwear. She doesn’t like it to be called inco-wear or anything else, it’s her underwear. So, it’s like, follow my lead. You’re not in there to take control, you’re in there to help them, aid them if they need it”.
Practical Tips
- Raise the topic gently, having built rapport.
- Ask a question with empathy, such as: ‘Are you worried about having accidents with urine or faeces?’
- Use language your client is comfortable with.
- Be led by your client and find out their concerns.
“When you’re talking about continence and actually going towards that, saying: ‘Look, we’re looking at continence, can I share this website with you? Can you share your views’? Because, in talking to the client as if the client is the expert and you’re using the website to guide them, for the client to guide you on how you would like them to deal with any concerns they have”.
“ A touch of humour may help: ‘Why don’t we try these and see if we look as glamorous as the lady in the advert!’ ”
“Whether you’re dealing with the elderly or dementia, it doesn’t matter. If they’re towards the latter stages of dementia, there’s still a person inside there and you’ve got to be as sensitive as if you’re coming to talk to me. They have led a whole, active life. They’re married or whatever, they’ve had children, they’ve had jobs. They’re not babies. They’re not children. You just talk how you would like to be spoken to”.